Saturday, September 30, 2006

From the Bitch about television

She watches the most boring shows on television, honestly all I can do is sit next to her and snooze. They all bore me to death! Her taste is just awful, I've tried and tried to ask her to watch something exciting but no the only way I get to see anything good is if it's on accidentally or if I'm forced to watch tv with Papa. But Papa uses the clicker like it was going out of style and I get dizzy from trying to watch all the channels and with the cable thing she got there are hundreds of them.

Last night I heard barking so naturally I woke up and looked and to my chagrin she was watching the Emmy-nominated show on National Geographic Channel, some guy named Cesar Millan "The Dog Whisperer" supposed to be an expert in dog psychology! Dog psychology, just what I need for her to pick up some stupid ideas about being a dog trainer. She already thinks she's training me but we all know that I've trained her.

I must say those dogs on tv were CRAZY and they did need therapy. Poor things, one was running obsessively so much that he wore out a path in the back yard. Do you know what they did to him? They put him on a treadmill! Now I ask you who is crazy here? At least the poor pooch was pacing on real dirt and a very nice yard but the treadmill is boring. I remember when she got her treadmill and tried to put me on it, I've told you before she is CRAZY too. Dogs do not belong on a treadmill! I'm not even sure people do.

What is wrong with the great outdoors I ask?

While watching tv she was knitting some wool socks, what she needs wool socks for in Southern California I don't know but they looked kind of pretty. I heard her tell somebody that the yarn was this expensive stuff called Koigu whatever that is and I have to admit it feels like "butter" as you know who would say. While she was knitting I tried to sit on the ball of yarn on the floor just to mess with her this amuses me to no end.

Then she made a mistake, she thought it was her Evil Twin but I was sending the messages mentally. I know she was knitting so I kept thinking PURL, PURL... Sure enough she did 5 purl stitches amongst all the knits. Now she is too far to frog the sock (I like the ring to that, "frog the sock" you know they call it frogging because of "rip it, rip it" like a frog would say) so every time she wears it she will see the "mistake" because I made sure it was on the very top in a real obvious place!

That is all,
The Bitch

And from the boy:
I went to bed early, I don't watch television. I like to go to bed early and get up late.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

He he...surely she can watch The Eukanuba Championships for you!!!