Monday, April 02, 2007

It's been so long...

From the Bitch and the Boy...

I knew it, these humans are out to get us! I am starving! Yes famished, dog-hungry feeling of "faint" hungry! I have to be vigilant that SHE does not feed us any of that "poisoned" dog food! Such a responsibility it's all on me, my brother is too stupid to care!

Can you believe it he will eat anything SHE gives us. Not me I'm too smart for this one, SHE does not think that I watch television but I do especially when they are talking about my relatives dogs and cats. My ears perk up and I listen very carefully. Also I hear HER discuss it on the telephone with some friend who tortures a French Bulldog. Poor boy, he comes from Hungary they breed dogs in Hungary and export them here. Who knew?

But I digress, I need more FOOD! I need more delicious food like chicken and no vegetables please! I am a carnivore not a vegetarian! SHE sometimes gets food from this restaurant down the street called The California Chicken Cafe, I must say that is my favorite restaurant. I'm trying to convince HER to only feed me chicken from that restaurant and my method is to let her think I'm on a "hunger strike"! SHE puts food out for us and I don't eat mine and I start crying with that "I'm so hungry I could die" look. For goodness sake they even deliver! (I read that on their website.)

It's worked some of the time, she actually gets in the car and goes to get me chicken! Some of my training has paid off. But I must perfect this training SHE is not very "teachable". You know what they say "You can't teach an old human new tricks" that certainly applies here.

I don't like the fresh hamburger she gets and cooks for us at all! It tastes like sawdust and is quite disgusting I WANT CHICKEN! SHE is a HORRIBLE cook! If only I was taller I could teach her a few tricks in the kitchen.

I got to go now because she has that oh let's take a bath look and well you know how I feel about that. SHE is so obsesses with cleanliness and the boy he is sleeping and besides he usually has nothing good to talk about. Actually he is quite boring I'm the only one in this house that has anything interesting to say.

Until next time,
The Bitch

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Yarnartist said...

Love the postings from the Bitch!
What have you been knitting? (Ana)

Laura said...

Hi Ana! I just had to delurk and comment. I noticed that you are going on the Sea Sock am I! My blog is "3 blogs to your left" in the K1B2 ring (Knitalife). I have meant to comment before but never got around to it. My sister (also a knitter) lives in Venice. Also, I always love your postings from the Bitch. I had a dear, sweet, courageous yorkie/maltese cross, Skoshi who passed away a year and a half ago. He is dearly missed. Anyway, I just had to comment and hoped to correspond with you before we set sail. Why don't you email me your address?