Bon Voyage Mommy

You would think that I have mentioned the fact that I like chicken and only chicken so many times now that SHE would know this. But noooooo SHE is feeding us some left over beef sort of stuff. I think it's called a porterhouse steak. They were eating it last night and it did kind of smell good and I saw a great bone that went with it but SHE would not let me have the bone!

Why? Who made up this rule not to feed dogs bones? This is ridiculous dogs and bones go together for goodness sake! SHE says that I throw up if I chew on a bone. So what's the big deal? What's a little throw up who doesn't throw up after they chew on bones? Besides there is a pay off SHE has to clean it up, HA! I do have small ways to get back at her.

Then SHE is so crazy that SHE weighs each portion God Forbid I should get an extra morsel than my brother I am the Queen here! SHE always wants to be exact so my brother gets the same exact meal I get, what is that all about? As the Alpha dog around here I should get the larger portion! Everybody knows that the Alpha dog has so much more responsibilities then the rest of the pack. I have to take care of so many things to keep HER safe and alert her for every danger in my territory!

Just yesterday this deranged cat came walking by on the top of the fence. Well I threw a fit, that cat could have been rabid and bit HER then what? But thank goodness I did my job and screamed and chased until that cat was out of here! Then if you can imagine SHE yells at me for making too much noise! I get no respect at all.

Now I see a suitcase and SHE is packing, I think SHE may be leaving. Oh at last I will finally be Queen of the house! Papa is easy he does everything I tell him to do. I bet I can get him to go get me chicken from the restaurant every day! I can hardly wait.

The Bitch

From the Boy,

Oh no mommy is leaving us I see suitcases being packed and I am so worried that she won't come back. I'm always sad when she leaves me I love her so much and will miss her. She does need a vacation and I know she will have so much fun I can see the fun things she is packing. Yarn and knitting needles, she loves to knit maybe one day she might knit me a sweater I love to get dressed up.

She may even have started a sweater already but it takes a long time to make them, I will be patient, when it's done I will wear that sweater all the time. I know I will love it. Bon voyage mommy hurry back.

Love,
The Boy